Adoption Questions: What did you not expect?

Question: Did your kids come home with a lot "more to deal" with than you thought?

My answer: For us we brought home 2 children we weren't expecting to bring home. We went over for 2 preschoolers, we came home with two children at an infant level. Though we weren't prepared for infants, our transition home went wonderfully! The hardest thing was (and still is) bonding with an older child Something I didn't expect was autism or at least autistic tendencies. I, in fact, always said I couldn't deal with that ONE thing. Don't ever say never :) God doesn't call the equipped but equips the called and we love Emma without question and continue learning how she ticks and what we can do to help her as well as continue the process of trust with her.

From working with other families: In general families that have difficulty upon coming home (which I'd say about 1 in 10 have significant enough difficulties that they share, and others have adjustment issues but quickly resolve) it's based on behavior or a lack of connection.

Those are great big generalizations, but sometimes the behavior of the child- like Emma- is more affected by their time in an institution. Some children may have true autism. But a general thing that can be overwhelming is either 'orphanage behavior' (hitting, kicking, biting, pushing, never saying thank you, demanding things, jealousy of other children) or institutional behavior (stimming, rocking, grinding teeth, not doing well in new situations, spinning, hitting self). And then the lack of connection is generally the parent's side, but it's another thing that I've heard several times. "I love her but don't feel connected yet" I've heard twice this week. Sometimes it feels like you're babysitting someone else's child when you come home. Love is work. It will come ;)

I think families that expect instant love and gratification generally have a more difficult transition time, but some people definitely DO find that quickly as does the child! Some families that go in without expectations also find an instant connection and reward whereas others do feel the disappointment or difficulty with some things. A LOT just depends on the child/parent interactions and 'chemistry'. Some parents and children mesh immediately whereas some take a lot of time and effort.

Other ideas from post-adopt parents: Many people commented that their transitions home were easier than they'd expected. They found their medical info on their child was sparse and often inaccurate. Depending on who gave the information on the child and what the original intention of the description was for (funding or to find an adoptive parent or to dissuade people from adoption), the description may hold a completely different tone.

The question was also raised about previous descriptions and the expectations that come with it- giving a child character traits based on their photo or pieces of the description. That's definitely something to consider. Words can paint a picture, but not necessarily an accurate one :)

Feel free to add to this in the comments! This was a conversation going through RR today and I think it's a good one to share! :)

WOLF!!

Methinks she cried wolf...

Emma was in the school clinic just crying and crying away... During speech she got mad that another little girl was doing the signs and getting the toy and she refused to cooperate and got mad. And cried. And cried. And cried. LOL She's had a runny nose for a while and the ear thermometer showed she was over 101 temp. Unfortunately with her teensy ear canals, they rarely read right. But the teacher sent her to the clinic and they took the temp again and it was somewhere over 100. Mike just brought her home. Happy. Carefree, and right at nap time.

Emma doesn't usually nap. But, if she is "sick" then she will nap!

I took her temp, 99.8. Maybe she's coming down with something. And obviously she was really upset (until Mike got there and calmed her down). But can you get so worked up that you run a low-grade fever? I have no idea, but her body doesn't feel warm just her forehead. I suppose her nose gook could have had her running a low grade temp already and we just hadn't noticed because she didn't feel warm and there was no reason to take her temp until she was uncontrollably screaming! LOL

I guess we'll know after she gets up from nap and I'll take it again. I was just putting M and B down, though, so down she went too. And she was none too happy about that. Her teacher is great and just called to fill in the gaps and let us know the circumstances surrounding her being sent home. I really don't mind them calling us to get her. I'd MUCH rather they call then have her screaming nonstop and just miserable at school. Then again, she won't be playing this game and doing this just because she didn't get her way either! We shall see....

The Car Surprise

A few days ago I was driving down the road and all of a sudden when turning a corner I heard this AWFUL squeaking sound. Then again when I stopped at a stoplight. And again, and again, and again! YIKES! This van is just over a year old (to us, we bought a year used too) and we're supposed to be driving for Thanksgiving next week, so this isn't great timing!

I was going grocery shopping and had to get the groceries home but then I went straight to the church. Mike and I drove it around a while over the church speed bumps and through the parking log, through the grass parking lot... it kept doing it and it sounded awful! And... sometimes it came from the BACK of the car, other times further up the car.

We had just about decided to take it in to the shop when we discovered that the awful squeaking noise... was coming from INSIDE the car. Then it only took us a minute to locate it.

Earlier in the week I'd uninstalled and reinstalled Brianna's carseat because it had loosened some. When I reinstalled it I used the clip (as always) but I hadn't 'locked' the seat belt otherwise. You really don't have to, so no big deal. BUT... the mechanism that attaches the seat belt to the car, because it wasn't locked, was swinging slightly as we turned or hit bumps or started or stopped the car!! I pulled on it to lock and... voila! Car problem fixed.

WHEW! So very thankful that there's not an issue with the van!! (what would we do if it needed more than a day of maintenance?? All the carseats don't fit in our other car!)

Question:

Why do I have to sit on hold for 3 minutes for insurance to pay a claim?

A claim, I may add, that's 2 months old and that they'd held because they wanted to know if she had any other health coverage. Yet they've processed everything else and paid it out.

What will they tell me after these 3 minutes on hold that are wasting my time?

Hmm... it's been almost 3 minutes...

Should I be surprised that after 3 minutes all they told me is that they sent it back to the inpatient claims center and they'll pay it for me? Wow, what a waste of time...

wow

So much happening right now, no time for blogging!! But yet isn't that the best time to blog?? :)

My chocolate last night... well, I made some chocolate covered Oreos the day before and decided that I had a bunch of chocolate chunks and wouldn't it be fun to mix it in with the white chocolate. Thankfully I decided to melt them separately. The white chocolate was intended for melting and making candies and such out of. The chunks... not so much. So instead of a nice puddle of chocolate ready for me to dip the Ritz and peanut butter sandwiches into, I had a burnt heap of chocolate 'dirt' that seemed to be alive. If you ever need a smoldering volcano, this is your stuff! It wasn't liquid by any means. It really did turn into something that much more resembled wet dirt and grained off like that. But it was moving. Literally moving. Almost as if it was physically on fire.

I believe it may be a talent to be able to catch chocolate on fire in a microwave.

Kristopher, however, thought I was making brownies. I guess burnt chocolate doesn't smell so bad to a 5 yr old.

(The chocolate dipped Ritz peanut butter sandwiches were done with just white chocolate and are delicious, in case you wondered.)

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This morning I sat down to nurse Lynae and even though I don't usually turn the computer on before school unless it's to check the weather, I did. And I even thought before turning it on that I was going to have to deal with Mike rolling his eyes... :)

So I turned it on and in my inbox found... 6 emails from my bank. Never a good start to the day.

This morning at 5am they were having fun without me. Apparently I wrote my homeowners insurance check from the wrong account. Not the end of the world, we have overdraft protection and it's a charge I didn't want, but it's just one check, right? No. Apparently they process the large amounts FIRST. So... Sunday afternoon's dinner from Panda Express $12. With a $34 overdraft fee. My $2 stop at McDonald's yesterday at lunch time? Add a $34 overdraft fee. Yes, this happened with SIX transactions!

And I get that the check was my fault. I have no problem with a $34 overdraft fee ONCE. But within 15 minutes they filed 6 transactions and put the one that was for over $3,300 FIRST so that all the others had insufficient funds... when in reality my account was just FINE when I made the other purchases.

I transferred the funds to the right account immediately this morning so there wouldn't be any other issues. Then I had to take the kids to school.

For whatever reason, 2 of the overdraft charges were gone when I got back home. YAY! That's $68! Then I called the bank. I explained that I understand why ONE charge is there, but that there's no reason for me to have insufficient funds on purchases made 2 days ago when they held that charge until after this large check went through. The funds were there NOW, so it's not like I'm trying to get off without paying something. I just think it's immoral to charge this way!

They reversed $70 of charges. I accepted that. It means 2 overdraft fees were removed and I was charged only 2. Still $68 I didn't want to donate toward my bank's pocket but it was definitely my mistake in writing the check from the wrong account and I completely understand ONE fee.

Better a fee from the bank than the government (for not paying the taxes). But even better if I just had my act together in the first place! I guess that 'savings' of a little over $100 for paying my taxes early is a bit nil now?

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This morning when I brought the kids in to school I stayed around for 20 minutes then went to Emma's classroom to show her teacher how she's doing with the Pony Walker. She's started to use it appropriately some and we've brought it to the Special Olympics Young Athletes meetings the last 2 weeks. Her teacher brought in the gait trainer they're using at the school for me to see as well and to show me how she's doing in that. She does all right but there's still limited control when she does it. The biggest thing is that she wants to "slink out" of the gait trainer and her super lax joints just might let her do that! LOL

Emma signed more for me at school! She signed baby for us several times and she told me all done when prompted. She listened when I told her to stand up in the walker and to stop 'cruising' by shoving off with her feet. That little girl never ceases to amaze me :)

I spent that first 20 minutes in the preschool class and Brianna told me she needed to go to the bathroom and then went. She's become so independent in so many areas, I'm just waiting for it to 'click' to her that she can go to the bathroom by herself and stay dry all the time. Walking in to the school in the morning I was carrying the carseat and holding Micah's hand. Usually I sling Lynae but today knowing I'd be in Emma's class I brought in her seat, which meant that Brianna just walked with us without holding my hand. I crossed the line of kids coming in from the buses with Lynae and Micah and she stopped and waited for another opening. She even said "NO!" to a girl that turned and bonked her with her backpack (on accident, Brianna was standing just on the other side of a bush and she's REALLY TINY! LOL, the girl didn't see her until she said something). Then when she saw an opening (I really thought she was going to wait all the way until the END of the line...) she ran across! Big girl! I'm so glad she was assertive to the girl that bumped her too. She's little and is going to HAVE to say something or she'll get run over!

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In just a few minutes I'm headed down to Lynae's 2 month check up. Then school pick-up and three kids are going to play at my parents' house for a little while. I'll be headed down with Micah to the orthopedic doctor for (hopefully his LAST) checkup on the curvature of his back.

Tomorrow morning is Brianna's IEP, and Thursday is the Kindergarten Thanksgiving Play as well as 'lunch with your child' for every class in the school. Seriously. They invited ALL the parents to lunch tomorrow. Can. We. Say. Hectic?? I'll be having lunch with Kristopher and Emma, and depending on what time that falls I'll eat with the preschoolers too, but I won't tell them I'm coming unless I show up :)

Next week we have Emma's IEP on Tuesday and I'll be spending the afternoon packing. Yep, we're hitting the road for Thanksgiving and visiting some friends :) Kristopher and Brianna are really excited about our little road trip, and Mike and I are ready for a little time away from everything as a family. Not sure yet whether we're leaving on Tuesday afternoon or waiting until Wednesday morning.

Off to the doctor's....

All chocolate was not created equal

Just in case you were wondering. :)

Ten seconds

That's all it takes to say THANK YOU!
Send a card to our troops overseas for free!

EMMA SIGNED BABY!

And I got it on VIDEO! Oh my, this is a HUGE thing for us. She didn't just do it once without meaning... or happen to comply, she did it over and over.. my goodness, I could just cry, what a BIG STEP this is! Emma's finally starting to communicate back to us!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Make photo slide shows at www.OneTrueMedia.com

What do you do when

your child's tiny hiney still fits in one size diaper and the next size up is too big therefore leaks in gaps... yet... they pee too much for the size that 'fits' to contain it all???

Emma's peeing out of the overnight diapers. She had to have her pants changed all 3 days of school so far this week. Overnights are already super absorbent! We tried UnderJams at night (she's leaking out most nights too) but the smallest size is too big on her.

Any suggestions?? She's in a size 6 Overnight right now and weighs 32 lbs.

Thanks!

The Purple Tongue

Yes, it's from Gentian Violet because Lynae has thrush. So far it worked pretty good but not all the way gone and I left it off a day and now it's coming back more, so we're back to purple a few more days.

Unfortunately, when she gets a little around her lips and on her sweet pink lips... she then looks... blue in the mouth. AKA: dead. Not a good look I don't think. I hope it's all better soon!!!!

And thanks for the tip about the grapefruit seed extract! I hope there's never a need for me to use anything more than the little bottle of purple stuff that we already have, but if there is then that is what I'll try.

I worked HARD for this little bottle though. You have no idea...

On Friday we brought Micah and Brianna to my parents' house and then went to the school. Mike and I checked in at the office and Emma and Kristopher went off to their classes then we waited for Kristopher's 1st 9 weeks award ceremony. He got an award for "Outstanding performance", which is an alternate to the perfect attendance since the Swine Flu allowed for an absence or two I think.

After the ceremony I picked up the little ones and dropped Mike off so he could go to work then went to GNC to see about getting some Gentian Violet. I drove by the window looking for their hours. None posted. It was already 9:30, the light was on, and there was a man at the counter at the back of the store, so I figured it must be open. I didn't have any strollers with me, so I ventured out with two 3 yr olds and an infant carrier and my purse across the parking lot to the store. (this was the beginning of my thoughts of wanting the monkey!) I got to the door, and it was... locked. Yes, they don't have hours posted but they don't open until 10am.

We went home.

I then called Wal-Mart to see if they had it. Nice pharmacist answered the phone. Said they have to special order it. Then said no, it's on the herbal aisle. Then she hung up. Before I could ask if it was in stock.

Mike's mom came over after lunch and kept M and B so I could go back up to the school and meet Mike for Emma's award ceremony. Emma got a teacher's choice award for the most improved in the lunch room :) She is now completely feeding herself with a spoon and fork for most meals!!

On our way home from school I stopped at Wal-Mart, put Emma in the cart seat, Lynae's carrier in the basket and Kristopher walked and in we went. We walked the aisles of the store. Twice. Then we found a helpful pharmacy worker. She told us she was 99% sure it wasn't stocked and had to be special ordered. She checked the computer and said she could order it for a few days out. Sure enough not in stock.

*sigh*

I went back out to the car and called my house then asked Mike's mom to look on the medicine bottles on the counter so I could call Walgreens. As I loaded the car back up I dialed then listened to the answering service:

"Thank you for calling Walgreens, Main Menu: If you'd like to speak with... I'm sorry. I didn't understand you. Let's try again... Main Menu: If you'd like to speak with... I'm sorry. I didn't understand you. Let's try again... Main Menu: If you'd like to speak with..."

Seriously.

I hate voice-prompt menus!! They always think I'm talking to THEM just because the person walking by made a noise or I closed a car door or... whatever! I dislike the system and it doesn't WORK!

Finally I hear "Let me find a representative to help you." FINALLY!

Then she puts me on hold. One minute. Two minutes. Three minutes.

And I hear.... "Thank you for calling Walgreens. Main Menu: If you'd like to speak with... I'm sorry. I didn't understand you. Let's try again... Main Menu: If you'd like to speak with... I'm sorry. I didn't understand you. Let's try again... Main Menu: If you'd like to speak with..."

Then I got a representative again. The same one. She said "just a minute." I went on hold again. One minute. Two minutes. Three minutes.

And I hear.... "Thank you for calling Walgreens. Main Menu: If you'd like to speak with... I'm sorry. I didn't understand you. Let's try again... Main Menu: If you'd like to speak with... I'm sorry. I didn't understand you. Let's try again... Main Menu: If you'd like to speak with..."

OH MY! The third time I spoke with the lady she answered the phone apparently knowing it would be me.

And guess what? They don't have it either.

I decided to try again at GNC. Three kids and I truck on in only to find out that they don't carry it either.

We went home. Then as a last resort I called CVS. Not only did they answer the phone when I called, not repeat the menu 3x to me, and didn't keep putting me on hold, they HAD ONE BOTTLE!

Mike's mom offered to go get it for me so I didn't have to haul the kids around again. That was MUCH appreciated.

So you see, I worked HARD for this little bottle of purple liquid. And we will be using it as long as it is working!!! :)

Did you know

That November is Adoption Awareness Month? Yes, following Down Syndrome Awareness month is Adoption Awareness month! And, this Sunday, November 8th, is "Orphan Sunday".

There is SO MUCH that I'd like to share about orphans and ministries to get involved with, both locally and internationally...

Have you a heart for orphans? We are commanded to care for them...
Here are 10 ways (and the scripture that supports them) that you can, EVERYONE can, care for orphans:

1. PRAY: Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened. -Matthew 7:7-8
   
2. SPEAK UP for them: Open your mouth for the mute, for the rights of all the unfortunate. Open your mouth, judge righteously, and defend the rights of the afflicted and needy. -Proverbs 31:8-9
   
3. PROVIDE for their needs: If a brother or sister is without clothing and in need of daily food…and yet you do not give them what is necessary for their body, what use is that? -James 2:15-16
   
4. SUPPORT those who support them: …and let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds... -Hebrews 10:24
   
5. PROTECT them from harm: The Lord protects the strangers; He supports the fatherless and the widow, but He thwarts the way of the wicked. –Psalm 146:9
   
6. VISIT them where they are: Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of God is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world. -James 1:27
   
7. GIVE sacrificially to them: Each one must do just as he has purposed in his heart, not grudgingly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. -2 Corinthians 9:7
   
8. ENCOURAGE them to press on: We urge you brethren, admonish the unruly, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with everyone. –1 Thessalonians 5:14
   
9. ADOPT them into your family: A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God is His holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families… -Psalm: 68:5-6a NIV
   
10. MOBILIZE your church for them: Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I commanded you. -Matthew 28:18-20
    

These are from the "10 Ways" list made by Orphan Sunday.

Loren Eiseley wrote a story about a little boy with the starfish... it goes like this:
Once upon a time, there was a wise man who used to go to the ocean to do his writing. He had a habit of walking on the beach before he began his work. One day, as he was walking along the shore, he looked down the beach and saw a human figure moving like a dancer. He smiled to himself at the thought of someone who would dance to the day, and so, he walked faster to catch up. As he got closer, he noticed that the figure was that of a young man, and that what he was doing was not dancing at all. The young man was reaching down to the shore, picking up small objects, and throwing them into the ocean. He came closer still and called out "Good morning! May I ask what it is that you are doing?" The young man paused, looked up, and replied "Throwing starfish into the ocean." "I must ask, then, why are you throwing starfish into the ocean?" asked the somewhat startled wise man. To this, the young man replied, "The sun is up and the tide is going out. If I don't throw them in, they'll die." Upon hearing this, the wise man commented, "But, young man, do you not realize that there are miles and miles of beach and there are starfish all along every mile? You can't possibly make a difference!" At this, the young man bent down, picked up yet another starfish, and threw it into the ocean. As it met the water, he said, "It made a difference for that one."

Oh, how this story speaks directly to our impact on orphans! No, we cannot individually care for them all... but together we CAN, and when it begins to look overwhelming... remember, it made a difference to that one. And that difference is HUGE!

I want to tell you the story of a recent couple that went to Eastern Europe to adopt their son. It may sound strangely familiar... but no, it's not us.

J and G went overseas, had an appointment and received permission to visit with the child they've called their son. They met him, played with, and signed paperwork stating their intentions to adopt him. In the location of this child they would have to wait a week or more to receive a date for court, so the husband boarded a plane and came back to the US to await that date and return.

Their joy quickly was replaced by shock and fear as their dreams were brought crashing down. A year and a half prior a new document had been made about this child and in it many facts were misrepresented such as misspelling of names. This one document overrode all previous documents, and because of it being incorrect, this little boy whom the family had already named, had clothing monogrammed for, and had hugged and welcomed into their family... was not available for them to adopt.

The days were bleak as things were worked out, but in following what they believe God had for their family, this family decided to continue to expand their family on this adoption trip and determined that another young boy that would also be aging out of the babyhouse soon would be coming home as their son. Such a difficult decision, but it does mean LIFE for one child.

This little boy whose paperwork is wrong is now unadoptable. It's a sick and sad reality that paperwork can be what dooms a child’s future. But thankfully, we have a wonderful team in this country and they are working fervently to get this paperwork straightened out!! We hope and pray that this little boy will soon be available for adoption again and that he WILL be brought home!!

He has three things going against him right now, though. One is simply that he is a BOY. People are less likely to commit to adopting a boy, and I’ve seen statistics that suggest that more than 70% of the orphaned children are BOYS. The second is his AGE. He’s over 3, which makes him less likely to be chosen :( He needs a family that will not look at the birthdate and say “we’ve missed 4 years already” but instead look at his eyes and say “he’s missed us for 4 years already!” and bring him home. The third, is time. Because Joseph WILL be transferred before too long. We have a pretty good idea where he will go and it’s not a good place. BUT, it is somewhere we’ve had a successful adoption from! So there is still hope for him so long as he has life in his body.

Those 10 things that you can do for orphans, please go back and read them :) See what part you may plan in Joseph’s homecoming. This little guy is especially close to my heart because he is in the same situation my Sasha was in… but he has a second chance.

I don’t often fundraise long-term for specific children, but this one has me. Once a family commits to his adoption the process can be QUICK. Less than 6 months before he walks in the door of their home. And he doesn’t have a moment to waste… Let’s raise up a fund to help a family that desires to bring him home so that there won’t be any time wasted waiting for them to raise funds!!

Today is Orphan Sunday

LERA
Girl, Born August 7, 2005

And if this one specific child doesn't have a family committed to her adoption within the next few days, she will be sent to a mental institution where she will then be unadoptable and 'sentenced' to a crib for the rest of her life.

Here's a little about her: Lera is a gorgeous little girl with blonde hair and blue eyes. She is 4 years old. She is quite high functioning, and doing very well. She has flat feet and a systolic heart murmur, but no major heart conditions. She is able to walk and climb, she eats by herself, dances, and understands and follows directions. She has also been transferred to the regular class, so she living and learning with her typical peers.


There's a grant of $1,000 available to the family that adopts her. It's so sad that she's run out of time. She is in RUSSIA and those are closed institutions. Here's the info about adopting from her region of Russia:

• 2 trips
• Both parents for first trip, about one week
• Both parents travel for 2nd trip, approximately 14 days (One parent may leave after the court proceedings are finalized, after about 5 days.)
• Total program and travel fees under $25k
• Fee includes a $1000 orphanage donation
• Only one child can be adopted at a time
• Married couples and single mothers may apply

Please pray for a family for Lera to come to her rescue quickly!! Are you that family?

How in the world did Micah

become so HORRIBLY AFRAID of this??

Ok, so I know these things are super controversial and I won't pretend to be 'for' or 'against' them because I really do understand both sides of the coin... But the thing is, we've never used one of these. We bought one once when we were going to be in the Chicago airport and we wanted to make sure there was NO way for Kristopher to get separated from us while we were trying to haul luggage and a 2 yr old and an infant through the airport. But Kristopher wore it once and decided if he had 3' to get away from us he would be that 3' away ALL THE TIME and we never again tried to use it.

But for the last LONG while it has been in the garage, LOST. We loaned it to a friend that was taking her 2 yr old twins on a cruise and after that misplaced it and haven't seen it since. Mike just came across it today. Ironically, he came across it today after I spent the last week intentionally looking for it.

And today I decided I'd buy another- that we must have gotten rid of it. So now we have two. That Micah is horribly afraid of!

I didn't put it on him. He didn't even KNOW what It was for. I simply walked over to him while he was playing on the porch and he looked at it and broke out in HYSTERICS. Then I showed it to him for a second and decided he was going to have to get over it and I put it on him. Mean mommy, I know. He stood there with his arms out and screamed at the top of his lungs. I didn't laugh. I promise. But I thought about it! I did go alert Mike to the situation- he was just outside the sliders grilling burgers- and he came back in with me. We found that Micah's tongue was bleeding (he bites it regularly, so it wasn't a big surprise), and Mike thought that was the cause of the freak out. I begged to differ.

Later tonight Mike took the monkey over to Micah and as soon as he saw it HE FREAKED! Again! We played around with it, let Brianna wear it (who loves it, by the way!) and let him just hold it or let the kids hand it to him to play with... most of the time he was somewhat ok with it. But every once in a while... he freaked! LOL No, I'm not laughing... but seriously it WAS funny!

Well, we'll work on him here at home because it won't be very helpful to me in the parking lot to have my son freaking out about the monkey (without it even being anywhere NEAR him!). It also will not help me to cross the parking lot or take him into a store without the stroller. And that is the goal.. to have him learn to stay near me in stores rather than to wander. I thought the monkey would be more 'fun' than the traditional harnesses. Maybe not. *sigh*

What an exciting day!

So many things that make it exciting, but the one that I'm just beside myself over is that EMMA SIGNED EAT!!! I sat her at the table and her food was a bit away from her (we don't let the kids start eating until after we've prayed so she's learning to leave her food there rather than be told no LOL). She sat there while I went to the other side of the kitchen, and today since we were all eating in shifts I was going to let her go ahead and start. Mike was outside still cooking burgers and K and B were eating in the other room at a little table. I asked her "Emma, do you want to eat?" while signing it and she signed EAT! Not only that, she signed it exactly right with her fingers together, not even an approximation!!!!!! YAY EMMA!!!!!!!!

Earlier this afternoon we went to the Special Olympics Young Athletes meet and we happened to be the ONLY ones there! We've missed the last 2 weeks because of other obligations, but we did the entire 30 minutes just us, our kids, and the two 'instructors'. Oh, and grandpa too :) I have no idea whether it's because we were the only ones there and my kids didn't get distracted or play 'shy', but oh my, they did great!

We brought in Emma's Pony Walker (gait trainer) that she usually only kind of uses correctly... but she decided to use it right! She usually pushes off with both feet together but no... today she was walking :) She 'fishtails' in it, swinging the back end back and forth as she shifts her weight, but hey... she's trying! The first things they were doing were running to the other end of the room and getting a scarf, then a ball, then a bean bag and running back between. Emma and I "ran" down and twice (we let the rest of them go ahead because it was taking me some time to convince E she wanted to walk again after a minute of doing it LOL). She did so well!

Then, they were doing kicking a ball down a straight line, and Kristopher did it fine. The other three weren't quite so sure what to do, but by the 4th time through the 'line', Brianna was kicking the ball just with a hand held for balance, Micah was doing it with just his hands held to keep him from picking the ball up instead (to lick it nonetheless), and Emma even managed a kick on her own!

They had hula hoops to crawl through and all four kids crawled through those as well!

We also did some jumping over sticks, but none of the three of mine jump. Kristopher showed them all how and we did some pretend jumping with Emma and Brianna and mostly worked on just walking over them with Micah :) We let Emma sit out on the other jumping activity since she was pretty worn out from all the time on her feet already.

SO PROUD OF MY LITTLE YOUNG ATHLETES!!

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This definitely doesn't fit on the exciting day post, but it's the other part of our day. After the SO YA program we went to Wal-Mart. Not a big deal, just needed a few things and a dr's appointment for 3 kids is going to keep me from my regular grocery day so we decided to stop. As we were getting the very last item we needed a lady stopped, counted the children in the stroller (3) then made a few remarks about "three at once" and such... no, they're not all the same age is all I replied with. Then she took another two steps to literally be RIGHT against my face and said "A baby too?? What, are you trying to overpopulate the Earth or something???"

Seriously, this lady had some GUTS to say that, but what in the world??? Was she really that outspoken in a generation that doesn't really accept people with disabilities that she has an issue with my three that have Ds? Or does she think I'm actually 18 and have birthed 5 children through different fathers and haven't figured out how that happens yet (Tho Mike was with me)? Whatever her reasoning, she judged my family IMMEDIATELY without knowing a single thing about us except that we have 5 children.

I have NEVER gotten so outwardly RUDE of a comment (tho we've had many that come close) to my face. But my response was "no, actually we brought two home from Ukraine." Then turned around. Kristopher said "What mom? We have to send them back??" LOL I said no, they're ours forever and he replied with a nice comment about wanting them to stay. This entire time the lady is standing there staring at us. We turned to leave.

"Well, God bless ya with all those kids," a sarcastic reply came down the aisle.
"He sure has," and we left. But she wasn't done. Somehow my reply at the end took her off guard. Wait, someone that recognizes God, adopted kids from overseas, and has multiple disabled children... maybe I've unfairly judged? Seriously, it was as if this whole toll of thoughts ran across her face in a 2 second time as I turned and went around the corner.

"Wait, I didn't mean any harm when I first commented," she said.
"I understand. You're fine." And I turned and walked away. She stood saying things like "I was only kidding" and such as we walked away. We weren't rude or ignoring her, but we were done.

I do wonder, though, whether she is one of those people, you know, the ones that call themselves a Christian and go to church. The ones that have good intentions, but they know all about other people's intentions too. The ones that act high and mighty thinking that someone else is in the wrong. Then when they learn that they've misjudged they try hard to make it look like they did nothing wrong. They don't apologize, but instead they make excuses for their behavior. They weren't wrong, they didn't judge, they have no fault.

It's a sad reality. And unfortunately we all, at times, put the wrong 'label' on a person that we shouldn't be labeling in the first place! We sometimes treat people differently because of something we assume about them, then find out we were all wrong.

And sometimes it's not the wrongly assuming things that is the worst offense. It's the inability to admit to faults, admit when we're wrong, and apologize and ask forgiveness.

If this woman had said she was sorry, mentioned that she felt remorse... I would have felt like maybe she 'learned' not to judge too quickly (or not at all!). I might have thought she'd had an actual change of heart. But no, there was no remorse, no apology, just an excuse and an explanation. Yeah, she thought I was some "lesser person than she is"... but WHY should she treat any person actually IN those circumstances that way either?????????? It's simply WRONG!!!!!!!!

Ok, all that to say, please consider how you treat others :) Because though they may seem irresponsible or unfit to parent or too young, or they may seem to not have their morals in a good place because of something in their life according to YOUR expectations of them... there's really still no reason to treat them as a lesser person or comment rudely to them. There's no reason to judge them. And if you find you've treated them unfairly... be big enough to fess up to it and make things right.

Off my soap box :D

Beautiful

Inside and out…

Anyone know why her tongue is bright blue? (yes, I DO know why, and here’s a hint.  It’s actually PURPLE, not blue even tho it looks blue in the picture…  ;) ).